Yes, I “made love” to my wife this morning. Actually, when I say “made love” I’m not telling the full truth. See, as everyone knows, there are many different types of sex you can have, for example:
Making love: The passionate, face to face, lingering, not-too-kinky sex between couples who really love each other.
A quick shag: Can happen anywhere, and anytime, but must be heated and urgent and exists only to make one or both of you cum fast. 
A naughty romp: Sometimes pre-arranged, and sometimes in the heat of the moment. Usually takes place somewhere where you wouldn’t normally have sex. Kitchen, train, garden, park, elevator, etc.
A random encounter: You met someone and wanted to fuck them, so you did! Back at your place, or at hers, or in the back of the taxi on the way home from a club. Maybe on the beach or in a secluded woodland. Anywhere, anytime, with whoever took your fancy.
Sleepy passion: It’s first thing in the morning and although your breath stinks and your eyes are full of gunk, you’re dick wants some pussy. Still mostly asleep, somehow your penis guides you across the bed and locates that not-quite-ready-for-action vagina. Whether she’s awake or not, she’s getting fucked or you’ll be grumpy for the rest of the day.
A good hard fuck: This is the porno-sex. The sex with all those nasty grunting noises. The only sex where you really use the dirty talk. You know - the only time that you’re allowed to call her a, “dirty little cunt“, and she agrees and likes it. It’s the sex with the dripping sweat, the sloppy, tongue-probing, the urgent kisses, and a hell of a lot of hard pussy pounding. It’s the deep cunt fucking that leaves your man-pole sore and her cock-pocket bruised.

Of course, there may be more types of sex, but these are the only ones I can think of at the moment. The point of all that was to state that although I say we “made love”, it was more of a cross between “Making Love”, and, “Sleepy Passion”.

It started as sleepy urgency, and became lovely lovemaking, finishing with me shooting my cum deep inside her as she shuddered to a huge climax. Mrs Twisted Cunt cums hard every time I unload my cream inside her. It’s like her body knows that baby-making-juice is on it’s way and nature decides that this is a very fucking good thing indeed. Now I have worries about pregnancy, which is stupid because what the fuck did I expect to happen? Asshole. Still, it was a great orgasm, and the memory will stay with me for at least two days. Maybe.

What if we’re pregnant? Oops! We have four kids already, and whilst I wouldn’t mind another child, it would be a huge inconvenience. I’m approaching forty years old now, and I’ve been bringing up children all my adult life. I think I need to stop raising kids at some point, because if I’m honest I’m a ghost of the man that I could be, and it’s not fair to bring another child into the world without being able to give it the attention, love, and time that it deserves. Still, I’ll do it if I have to, although I’ll probably have some sort of breakdown.

Moral of the story: Think before you fuck, even if you’re half asleep and you’re dick is most definitely in charge.

How about some porn then?

Well, in the spirit of thinking about my wife and I being very much amateurs, I’ve decided to show off one of my favourite amateur sex websites. It’s huge, and horny, and the quality of the movies is among the best I’ve ever seen. Take a free look here, and enjoy the dirtiest amateur porn on the net!

All models are over 18.