Mrs Twisted Cunt came back from shopping today and immediately threw a bottle of baby oil at me. I must have looked puzzled as I caught it, because she just smiled and said, “So I can give you a nice oily handjob”. Then she walked away. I didn’t ask any questions, and she hasn’t said anything about it since, but the bottle is sitting in our kitchen, doing nothing. It’s just sitting there, all lonely, frequently reminding me what’s on the menu for me at some point. The only question is when.

I’ve never had a handjob before. Never. To be honest I’m really nervous. Nervous in case I fail to stay erect, nervous in case I can’t cum, and nervous in case my penis looks even smaller than when my wife sucked my dick last time. That was freaky.

So I think that I’ll watch some handjob movies like these for a while, just to research what goes on with those cock stroking moments. Maybe I can get some tips on what type of porn-faces to pull while she’s jerking me off. Nah, I already know enough porn-faces to get by.

You want some awesome handjob movies? No problem, you twisted cunts! Watch full handjob movies here and get working on your own cocks!

All models are over 18.

Free hardcore handjob sample movies

Handjob Harry is his name. Is that an original title? Could they have thought up something a bit unexpected? Do we care? No! As long as the handjob movies are decent we don’t give a toss what the title of the site is. So it’s all about handjobs then, lots of handjobs. Hours of handjobs. You like handjobs? Go and see Handjob Harry and he’ll sort you out with some good shit. Harry has an instant trial pass waiting for you, so head on over and get in there in seconds. No time to waste. Remember, it’s your precious stroking-time so don’t waste it! I’m full of good advice.

Handjobs save marriages. Why the fuck women aren’t taught good shit like this in their lives escapes me. I mean good shit like how to give handjobs. Imagine if every couple of days your wife, (who doesn’t fuck you any more because she’s a cunt and you’re a slob), simply gives you a quick handjob. Wouldn’t it make you feel special and wanted? You know how it should go? Tits out, maybe a pussy flash too, stroke, stroke, tug, tug, pull, pull, and the cum flies wherever your cock is pointed. Quick wash. Thanks, love. Marriage saved. It’s insane to think that I’ve just pointed millions of wives in the right direction to save their marriages. What do you mean they don’t want to be saved? Don’t fuck up my glory-moment!

All Handjob Pass features lots of lovely cum-spurting handjob movies. It’s a handjob mega-porn site, which means you get a shit-load more handjob porn than you would from a normal handjob sex site. These folks take the best handjob movies from as many porn sites as they can, and pack it all into one pass - the All Handjob Pass. Simple and very fucking effective. Go get some.

Jerk That Cock, as you’d expect, is all about hot chicks giving great handjobs to get that cum to erupt from stiff dicks. These girls do it right. Their faces show longing and lust, and eagerness for spunk, which is crucial to see while watching handjobs porn movies. I can’t remember ever getting a handjob in my life. I might have, I just don’t remember. My memory is frazzled by memories of porn movies. Sometimes I think I’ve remembered something filthy from my life, only to realise that I really saw it in a sex movie. I’m fucked. I’m a fucked cunt. Nice. Anyhow, take a look at these free handjob pon movies, and get your instant one dollar, (yes, that says one dollar), pass over at Jerk That Cock. I’m going now to remember the amazing times that I never had fucking porn stars and thousands of amateur pussies. That’s called a freaky headfuck.

All models are over 18.

Glasses are sexy. Why are glasses sexy? Why? Tell me. I don’t know, nor do I know anyone who does know, although I don’t really know anyone. What we have here is a combination of handjob movies and glasses porn. Fucking what? Glasses porn? Where the fuck did that come from? Wherever it came from it’s fucking nice, and seeing girls wanking off dicks while wearing glasses makes me get aroused. Very aroused. You can be as aroused as me, too. Just follow the link over to Handjob Spectacles, and have fun with your willy once you get there.

The delight on this chick’s face as the cock erupts with cum after all of her hard handywork is plain to see. She’s satisfied. She’s pleased. She can now relax and shake off the awful ache that she probably has after all of the wanking she’s been doing. Yes, it’s handjobs porn movie time here at Twisted Cunt, and that means Pud Pullin is our destination, where any lover of the stroking art is going to find much happiness, much pleasure, and much sticky man-cream. Get over there, start rubbing something, and try and time it so that you shoot your spooge at the same time as one of those lucky studs. Great fun, I tell you. Great fun. Visit Pud Pullin here 

Get a girl to stroke you off and you’re a luckier cunt than I am. get a girl to even touch your cock and you’re a luckier cunt than I am. Enough self-pity! Get on with the smut! Okay, we’re talking about beautiful girls giving slick handjobs in sensual, and sometimes, (with all the dirty talk that these babes spout), filthy handjob porn movies from a site called Handjob Models. It’s a good ‘un, with all kinds of gorgeous babes giving their own versions of perfect tugjobs to erect cocks. If you stop stroking your own swollen meat stick for long enough you can study the different techniques used. I wouldn’t bother doing that though. It’s pointless and rather pathetic. Just get spurting your muck to some of the best handjobs you’ll ever see, and when you sleep you can dream that it was your dick that was so lovingly abused by her hand. Oh yes. I want to mention that my absolute favourite part of watching handjobs porn movies is when the girl instinctively goes to suck the dick, but pulls back when she remembers it’s all about the tugging. Fucking lovely how she wants to lick but doesn’t, although sometimes they do, which is also pretty horny. Aaaaargh! Too much erection-giving porn! As always, enjoy the free sample movies but definately consider watching the full handjob movies at Handjob Models. It’s a great site whether you like handjobs or not.

Note: As always, if I mention the word “girls” anywhere then I don’t mean under 18 girls. All models at Twisted Cunt are 18 years old or over.