I am totally obsessed with licking asses. I mean getting my tongue right in there, probing that dirty hole, pushing as deep as I can while my wife squeels and squirms. I don’t think I’ve always been this way. I remember that an ex-girlfriend of mine many years ago hated me licking her shitter, but she let me do it anyway, which was a turn on. Nowadays it’s reversed. Mrs Twisted Cunt loves being licked in her most sacred hole, and always cums fast and hard when I’m lapping away down there.
I find it hard to resist a stray ass lick even when I’m trying to concentrate on her cunt, that’s how obsessed I am. Weird, but I like it. On the flip side I’m not sold on having my ass licked by women, or men for that matter. I think I’d find it a turn on if she was really getting off on doing it, but otherwise….I don’t know. It feels weird, invasive, and nice. Maybe I should ask Mrs Twisted Cunt to lick my butt more often so that I can judge. What do you think?
Yeah, she’d really go for that wouldn’t she? No. Twat.
All this talk of licking assholes has influenced my choice of jerk off material, so I’m heading on over to Nasty Asslickers to watch some filthy ass licking movies.
After all, if you’re going to have kinky thoughts you might aswell use visual stimulation to get that cum flowing.
Right?

All models over 18.

You know, confessions are supposed to be good for you, so here goes: I have moments when I wonder what a cock would feel like in my ass. There. Do I feel better? No. That was shit and pointless, then. I’ve tried using Mrs Twisted Cunt’s vibrators now and then on my well oiled butt, but I never really seem to get off on it. There’s some sort of mental block to go with the definate physical block that I get. It’s been a while since I tried though, and these days I’m much more liberated. I might try again soon. Or not.

Why am I talking about my ass being filled when there’s all this amazing anal sex action to be viewed? Get your free pass here to some of the hardest, deepest, and horniest anal sex movies you’ll ever see. These sample clips don’t even come close to doing the full anal sex movies justice, but they’ll have to do for now. Of course, you can get instant access to watch the full movies in a couple of seconds. Simply grab your instant FREE PASS HERE and start jerking your willy to high-definition butt fucking movies.
Deep, slick, sexy, and very nice indeed. Enjoy!

All models are over 18.

And here I was, thinking that spanking was something that a guy does to a woman when he’s a bit kinky and has some sort of school fetish. Actually, I didn’t think that at all, I just wanted some way of getting onto the subject so I made it up. Sorry.
See those movies there? The ones with the black chick slapping the white chick’s ass? There are loads like this at Red Ass Models. Hours and hours of crazy spanking movies for every taste in spanking fetish. From using impliments to lash those asses to good old man-bends-woman-over-his-knee-and-wallops-her-butt-red-raw. It’s all there, and you can have it in seconds. Oh fucking yes. If you fancy stroking off to a decent bit of butt-cherrying action then grab your instant pass here.
Stroke while they take strokes!
Genius, me. Fucking genius.
All models are over 18.

I really like being pissed on. One time, long ago, Mrs Twisted Cunt kind-of peed on me, but the flow was blocked as she stood over me in the bath, with me waiting underneath, cock in hand, ready to take the spray on my face and dick. She just couldn’t do it. I guess it’s much the same as when I try and pee in a public toilet. If there’s a guy next to me I just can’t piss. So there was a trickle that I enjoyed, but the main flow never came, and since then, like so much of my pathetic sex life, nothing. She talks a good sex life, but it never happens. Tiredness, kids always being around, and the fact that she was raised by a fucking lunatic mother who in turn was also raised by a lunatic mother, all contribute to make a gorgeous woman with a great figure but a fucked up attitude towards sex.

Man, I really know how to pick them. My first major relationship lasted eleven years, but sex was pretty much non-existant for the last ten of them. She did manage to fuck other guys though - cunt. That woman was a screw-up.

Where am I going with this post? Oh yeah. I can’t get Mrs Twisted Cunt to piss on me, and I doubt I could find a women who would do it on the sly even if I was the cheating kind, so instead I get by by watching pissing movies online.

Thank fuck for porn, and seeing as here in the UK you can’t get porn on any of our hundreds of television channels, (it’s all softcore nonsense), thank fuck for online porn. Keeps me going, and I reckon there are hundreds of thousands of wankers like me out there. Without a swift sausage-shuffle every day we’d all be walking around like ticking bombs. Masturbation saves us, porn saves us. Wake up women! Piss on your men! Or just get in touch and piss on me. Oh yes.

I complain about Mrs Twisted Cunt a lot, but in reality I love her with almost all of my heart. It’s such a waste of a great bit of cunt, though! This woman could fuck for her country! On the very rare occasions over the ten years or so that we’ve been together, when she’s decided that she wants my dick, (and I can count those occasions on one fucking hand), she fucks like a sex-demon. Intense, lengthy, mind-blowingly good sex, but it doesn’t happen any more!

There are probaly a million reasons why the flame has fizzled out, but I’m long past accepting excuses. What the fuck stops her from offering five fucking minutes of her time to give me a handjob? Why the fuck can’t she just say, maybe once a week, that she wants my dick in her cunt? It’s so bloody simple to keep me happy!

On the flip side, she gets loads of affection and attention. I bend over backwards to accomodate her needs, and I even have to beg her to let me lick her pussy. Man, just last night as she kissed me goodnight I asked if I could lick her asshole while I jerked off. She said I could, because she really gets off on having her bottom licked, and also we’d had a nice day out with our children and she was feeling happy. So I spent twenty minutes or so with my tongue probing her lovely butthole. Fucking lovely. I even managed to slip my dick into her cunt for a few minutes, too, but I didn’t want to push my luck too far and quickly returned to that beautiful tongue-in-ass action. Makes me horny just thinking about it.

See? The potential is there for loads of kinky sex, and even pissing sex, on top of a great, solid and very loving relationship, but as it stands now we’re fucked up. Such a shame, but I think as our children grow up things will improve, and I’m prepared to wait as she’s a great girl. I just wish her mother had raised her right. Fucking freak.

All models are over 18.

Wobbly asses getting spanked hard is sure to get my blood boiling and my dick twitching. Must be time for a quick tug, I reckon. I’ve not been visiting Rosy Red Cheeks for long, but I’ve still managed to crack off about a dozen decent cumshots at this spanking porn site. I always end up seeing a nice round ass that I haven’t seen before, and my jerking off mood makes me take a look at the movie before I can start checking out the rest of the site. Inevitably, I end up shooting my cum everywhere, and the urge to explore further goes away. In…wank…cum…out. Suits me just fine! If you like seeing bottoms getting lashed in all kinds of crazy positions until those lovely soft butt cheeks are cherry-red and sore, then take the free tour now at Rosy Red Cheeks and get full unrestricted access to hours and hours of pure naughty spanking pleasure! I can almost feel the sting!
All models are over 18.

Young Fatties is the name of the plumper porn movie site that these sample movies originated from. It’s a simple choice here. Do you want to watch crappy sample clips that are reduced in quality for mass viewing, or do you want full-length high-quality chubby teen sex movies that will get your spunk flying high and wide? Like I said, simple choice. Me, I like honesty so I’ll admit that sometimes searching for free porn clips, like the ones you see here, is part of the fun of a nightly shaft-shuffle. However, once you settle down with a membership to a porn site like Young Fatties, which delivers exactly what you need to get off, it’s hard to pick the freebies. Go get some juicy fat teen cunt. It’s good for you.
All models are over 18.

Oh boy! Now this is a real treat for fans of sexy teen girls doing rude things! As soon as I saw Kylie Teen I fell in love, but these free movies show that Kylie likes to do things the dirty way, as she takes a cock up her teen ass! I didn’t think I’d ever see this and I felt really lucky to find these movies. So lucky, in fact, that I whipped out my pecker and started to jerk off. Does that surprise you? Nah, didn’t think it would. All in all a great find from a great teen porn babe. Go ahead and visit Kylie Teen’s porn site if you want more of her. I find her very hard to resist, so I don’t bother trying. Happy teen porn hunting!
All models are over 18.

I love a nice bit of spanking, and I really enjoy watching butts get cherried, like these ones at Sinful Spanking do, while I wank my dick. I’m not really sure if I like to be spanked. Mrs Twisted Cunt rarely seems to be enthusiastic about having sex, (with me, anyway), these days, so even if she did get off on spanking my ass I wouldn’t be able to tell if she was doing it because she liked it, or if she was just doing it because she thought I liked it. A sexual recipe for complete disaster, there. Never mind. Mrs Twisted Cunt does, however, enjoy getting spanked a bit. Actually, she prefers light ass whipping. I discovered this recently while jokingly whipping her butt through her panties with a fake Indiana Jones bull whip we’d bought for one of our kids. I started lashing her cheeks and she started ohhing and ahhing, and we ended up fucking in the kitchen - briefly. She came, I didn’t. That happens a lot lately. Sad. Never mind, because as long as spanking porn sites like Sinful Spanking are out there I’m happy! Great spanking movies, and I mean really great spanking movies, an awesome free bundle of porn sites, (it’s around SEVENTY sex sites free at the moment, I think), and a sweet trial pass to get you started. What more could you want? Get instant access now!
All models are over 18.

It’s because it’s just so fucking rude that we love anal sex. Most of us have never tried it, and most of us never will try it. I’ve tried it, and it feels fucking lovely feeling to be buried inside a chick’s butthole. Mrs Twisted Cunt loves getting her ass fucked, (although not recently - bitch), and she always cums fucking hard and fast. When discussing anal sex with a few of her friends last year, they ALL confessed to really getting off on having their bums fucked deep. What does that tell me? It tells me that the fear of pain and the taboo nature of the act puts a lot of women off, but once they go for it they never look back. So here we are, with a nice bit of free anal sex movie action for you. Want more? How about hours, and hours, and dirty fucking hours more? Beautiful babes taking stiff dicks up their tight asses for explosive orgasms! No problem you twisted cunts! Head on over to Big Wet Asses now and look out for the instant trial passes. Highly recommended anal sex movies! Man, I must really like you. Oh yes.

All models are over 18.

A decent bit of anal sex to stroke off over is always going to be welcome at my computer desk, especially when there are instant ONE DOLLAR PASSES floating about. Nice!

For those of you that have fucked ass in your time, well done! Was it as good as you expected? Too dry? Too tight? Your woman loved it? She hated it? Who knows, eh? For those of you that haven’t fucked a chick up the shitter….I’m sure your time will come. Make sure that she wants to try it, that she’s well lubed, and make sure that you show her lots of affection afterwards, because anal sex is one of the most personal things you can ever do with a girl. One thing is fairly certain: if you get it right she will LOVE IT, and I mean love it to the point where she wants is more than you do, and there’s a good chance that you’ll be begging for some cunt action after a few months of your first butt-fucking. Also, unless you fancy a bit of kinky shit, prepare yourself for her wanting to shove things up your ass. Such fun, this sex thing, don’t you think? What am I going on about here? Oh yes! One dollar trial passes to filthy hardcore anal sex movies. Get yours HERE instantly. Wonderful.

All models are over 18.