After all the nervous tension surrounding my wife sucking my dick last night, I’ve decided that it’s time for me to watch chubby sex movies so that I can wank myself silly. Then I can relax and tell you about the failure and success of the big event. One messy jerk off cumshot later… That’s better.

In case you don’t know, last night I posted here that Mrs Twisted Cunt had told me that she’d suck my dick that evening. All went well for the next few hours, and then the moment was upon us - we were sat next to each other on our sofa wearing just towels and feeling fresh after hot baths. Lovely. Except that it wasn’t. After ten years together we should be comfortable like that, but we were both very awkward and nervous. Weird.

After a few minutes of kissing, she reached for my cock and started sucking the old boy. It felt fucking lovely. With some nice handwork in between long lingering bouts of slick tongue action, it was going great. But then the psycho-shit that I’m cursed with started kicking in and it all started to go wrong.

Firstly, my cock suddenly looked very fucking small in her hand. Puzzling. Normally my dick looks tiny, because it is tiny, (well, sort of), but this was worse than normal. I’m already insecure about my undersized manhood so that was a cunting thing to happen. I would have got over that one but then I became aware that it was taking too long, and Mrs Twisted Cunt has complained that one of the reasons she doesn’t suck my dick is because it takes ages. Once I started to clock-watch the blowjob was fucked. It was feeling nice, sure, but I wasn’t getting any of those lovely twinges of pleasure that signal something good is going to happen.

So I decided to jerk off instead, while my wife stuck her ass in my face for a good licking, and before long my cum was ready to blow, and as I gasped that it was about to happen, my wife stuck her face down towards my throbbing member just in time to get some on her face - I think. See, my tongue was buried in her asshole so I have no idea where the cum went, but I’ll take her word for it that she took a bit of a facial and even tasted a bit of my jizz.

So, almost successful, but a failure in what was supposed to happen. Nothing is ever easy. We’re both twisted cunts, and we always manage to complicate the simple stuff.

This whole cocksucking thing is a huge problem for me. All I want is for my wife to want me sexually. She doesn’t have to swallow my cum, or even take any in her mouth. I’d just like to know that what is happening is happening because she wants it, and not because I do. Reluctant sex is, (usually), very bad sex, and unless I’m convinced that she wants to do something I’ll never feel happy that she’s sucking my dick. Her being scared of my spunk means I’ll always be wary. That means I’m not relaxed and I feel like I’m forcing her to do it. No. Just no.

It might sound like I’m pushing her into this stuff, but I’m not. We have a very nice relationship where she has the slightly more dominant role. Also, it seems that I’m asking her to do something that she doesn’t want to do and then cursing her for not liking it, even though I knew she didn’t want to do it in the first place. (Did that make sense?) The reality is that for all my adult life I’ve been sexually rejected, and the last few years have been harder than any other part of my life. Rejection is a cunt! I just want to be wanted by the woman who says she loves me.

I need a sex therapist. We need a sex therapist.

Or some more porn. Like these chubby babes getting fucked.

All models are over 18.